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Babies are tough to figure out sometimes. They dont always cry when theyre hungry, sometimes they sleep when theyre supposed to be awake, and sometimes they wont let you sit down when you want to. But why?
It turns out that there are a few reasons why your baby might not want you to sit down. But in all likelihood, your baby just wants to be held. And who can blame them? After all, being held by you is the BEST place in the world for them.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, this post is for you!. In this article, Ill explore the reasons why your baby might not want you to sit down and Ill also give you some tips on how to respond.
Why Do Babies Cry When You Sit Down?
Sometimes babies do cry when you sit down, it could be that they’re trying to get your attention, they’re bored, they’re uncomfortable when you sit down or your little one simply likes to be held.
Also read: Baby won’t let me cut nails
This in no way suggests that your infant is having temper tantrums or constantly attempting to keep you on your toes in any given situation. Instead, there is a significantly more profound scientific explanation for it.
Researchers monitored the heart rates of 12 infants while they were in one of these three different environments: while their mothers were carrying them, while their mothers were sitting with them, and while they were lying in a crib.
The findings of this study were published in an issue of the journal, Current Biology which was released in 2013. The newborns’ heart rates dropped noticeably when they were carried, in addition to visibly calming down when they were held.
According to what was said by the researchers, “these data show that newborns were calmer during carrying than when being held,” and this was true not only behaviorally but also physiologically.
There isn’t any evidence that being carried triggers a physiological reaction that is unique to human infants. When other mammals, such as cats, rats, and lions are picked up by their moms, the young animals curl their hind legs under themselves and become still.
When the mouse pups were held by their mothers by the napes of their necks, the researchers saw that the mice “kept a motionless and compact posture.” This observation was made in the same study.
Scientists now understand that baby’s learn to regulate there own emotions by first co regulating with their primary caregivers. This is called co-regulation. What is happening during this time is your baby is attaching securely to you. Now we no longer in the western world live in villages close by to groups of parents or elders who can support so this can be a kot of oressure and stress on parents. Especially if you feel due to societal expectations that your house should be tidy, perhaps you are running a home business or anti cpating going back to work and wondering how you will every get to that stage if your baby cries whenever they are put down. You also need to just sleep, and so you become anxious about all these things and guess what your baby feels it and then doesn’t settle and the whole process repeats.
What Should I Do if a Baby Won’t Let Me Sit Down?
If you find yourself in a similar circumstance, try some of the following tips and you will find something that works on your little one.
1. Reassure yourself that your baby needs you and that you are enough
Your baby needs to feel close, some babies need this reassurance more than others and that is ok. Don’t believe your older relatives or people that tell you that you are spoiling your baby. HOLD YOUR BABY, one day they will be grown.
If you hold your baby when they cry they will learn that you come and cry more-
when they cry they learn that you come
when you come you teach them they are worthy of attention and support and thay you are there
When they know that you are there they feel self assured and physically know what it feels like to be calmed down
When they learn to calm down with you they will learn to calm down without you.
Baby’s that are not responded to when they cry learn simply that they are not worthy of your attention and they have higher levels of cortisol (stress hormone).
Some babies cry more and this can be really hard. Trust me I know.
The most important things for parents to teach their children are how to self-soothe and become independent, as well as how to teach their children that they cannot always get what they want.
For example, if your baby wants you to stand while you are holding them, you shouldn’t instantly stand up; instead, you should let them fuss a little bit before standing.
They have to comprehend that there is nothing to be concerned about in any way. And with consistent effort, they can learn, which is beneficial not only for the baby but also for you as the parent.
Take breaks
If you are on your own with a baby its ok to put your baby in their bassinet, if you have checked that they have a clean nappy, are fed and winded and you need a break lay your baby down grab your headphones and listen to an audio book to calm yourself whilst you rest, stay near your baby, perhaps stroke your baby’s face to reassure them of your presence and when you are ready and calm hold you baby again.
Try a sling
Slings are often overlooked when it comes to baby gift registry and essential baby item lists, with many considering them as an optional extra. Yet whereas I am all for minimalism this is one item I would not do without. A sling allows you to keep your baby close to your chest where they can feel your heart beating which will help them regulate. Even if they continue crying they will feel reassured by your presence.
Sit down when you want to sit down
Sit down when you need to sit down and resassure your baby bay singing stroking and swaddling. They will evenutaully feel safe sitting down.
Develop positive bedtime routines
From an early age you can start to put your baby to bed and develop a routine around going to sleep. Routines help your baby to predict what will happen next and recognise that you are going to come back
turning lights low having a bath, and a feed and singing a lullaby or playing gentle music can be cues which promote healthy sleep and positive associations with going to bed. You can create simpler versions of this for day time naps.
Instruct Them in the Art of Self-reliance
Self-care is incredibly important, and you need to practice it to offer the best possible care for your child. You won’t always be able to handle everything on your own, so when you start to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or frustrated, ask someone else to assist you with the baby or with one of the other pending chores.
Seek Assistance
You won’t always be able to handle everything on your own. It is okay to go away from your responsibilities every once in a while because doing so is the only way to maintain your sanity and keep everything in proper proportion.
It is entirely up to you whether you decide to hire a nanny or hand the baby over to your husband; the most important thing is that you take some time for yourself.
Get to Know Your Baby
This is a common time for a lot of parents to feel frustrated, and it’s quite appropriate for them to feel this way.
However, one of the few ways to feel calm is to realize that the reason your baby is fussing is not simply to make you tired; rather, they are doing it because they are concerned about their safety.
Also read: Baby Shoulder Popping When Picked Up
When babies are seated, they are unable to defend themselves and are dependent on their caregivers for their survival; they are vulnerable and open to harm when they are in this position.
It is only natural for these young drill sergeants to feel as though they require your assistance, and they are looking up to you.
If you are really stressed by the screaming, put them to Bed
Another option is to put your child to sleep and take a short nap yourself. Check they have a clean nappy and have been fed and winded first and put them in a safe clean ( no blankets or comforters) bassinet take a break, keep checking on your baby and This will not only help relax your infant, but it will also offer you some time to yourself. If they startle as soon as you lay down you could bring the bassinet close to you and speak to then whilst they settle.
Try a white noise device
It can be distressing when babies cry for long period especially when you are alone for long period of time as I was when I was a young mother. Talking to people about how you feel is essential.
White noise devices make sound at a frequency which resonates with your heart beat in the womb, it it reknowned for settling babies. Nowadays there are a lot of portable white noise devices on the market to choose from so you no longer have to find a static radio or put your baby near a washing machine ( so much has changed since I started my career! Remember many babies between 8-13 weeks go through colic afternoons. My eldest used to scream for 3-5 hours straight, to get through it I developed a routine for myslef where I slung her for a large portion of the time, took a walk, called my Mom, who lived at a distance but I felt like I was less alone just having her on the other side of the phone, and yes I placed in the bassinet and put her down, put headphones on and listened to audiobooks on Audible.
It is common knowledge that infants will cry when they are overtired or experiencing feelings of sleepiness. You must realize when it is time to put your baby down for a nap.
Participate in a Peer Support Groups
A support group is essential for everyone, including parents. The fact of the matter is that many other parents have been through the same things that you have, and it will be beneficial for all of you to talk about your problems, ideas, and potential solutions with one another. It aids in making things easier.
Consider a mentor or a counsellor
One of the main reasons I began this blog was to support other parents who might be anxious as I was when I was a new parent. Despite having previously had many years experience working with babies and young children and even having run parent support groups and classes I was unprepared for how I would feel after a traumatic delivery and being handed a prem baby the following days, whilst being miles from family and friends. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression 4 weeks after the delivery of my eldest and received weekly support from a midwife and counsellor until I found my groove as a new mom. It felt too vulnerable and intimidating to open up at first to a group women I didn’t know at first but eventually I did connect with other moms at a baby singing class who’d had their little one’s in the same month. They became a solid support base.
Go For a Walk
Getting out of the house is beneficial not only for the infant but also for you. It’s common knowledge that taking infants and young children outside helps them to feel more at ease.
With my eldest somedays, nothing worked, but the routine helped me, at around 4/5 months it just stopped. She isn’t scared because I put her down. I stayed close and looked after myself so that I could be the best mom I could. I still get lots of cuddles from her as a teen and she is a confident, intelligent and caring young woman now. Ditch the guilt! If you need to out your baby down, so long as the crib is clean and you are near and check they will be ok, and you will be better for the rest.
You should either go for a stroll with your child or visit a nearby park. This may make both of you feel more at ease in the circumstance.
Conclusion
Although being a parent might be stressful at times, you should know that you are not alone in this experience because there are a lot of other parents who are going through the same thing as you. It takes a great deal of love, patience, and attention to raise a child properly.
However, it wont do any harm in any way if you choose to take a break every once in a while, get someone to help you, join a support group, or let them cry a few times while you teach them how to be independent of you while you are doing so.
Or, If your baby wont let you sit down, the best thing you can do is just go with it. Pick them up, hold them close, and enjoy the moment.
FAQs
Why Do Babies Cry More Around Mom?
Because mothers are nurturers, they feel comfortable crying around you. Children generally have higher expectations placed upon their mothers. They are their most important source of nourishment, comfort, and care, and you are also their primary caregiver.
Why Does My 2-year-old Always Want to Be Held?
It is normal for a toddler to express interest in being carried. Psychologists refer to it as the circle of security, and it describes how children want to go out and be independent, then come back to feel safe and peaceful with a parent, and then be self-reliant again.